Art imitates reality.

No.  I didn't Photoshop it. 

Here's some comedy gold from my dear mother... Behold the email that I just received:

Subject: Mom Figured It Out!

Thanks anyway. I was using the wrong hole.


Ok, now that I've got your attention, here's the rest of it:

Subject: Are You There? HELP! HELP!!

I'm trying to record a cd. 'Need to put Christmas card note file onto CD so Walt can print from his computer upstairs. I have CD in drive, but Easy Creator tells me it isn't proper medium and to insert a CD. Duh ... ?

HELP. HELP. Mom.

This is especially funny because it's real.  Look it up, if you don't believe me.  They deal with tightly packed coatings. 

This stuff writes itself...

So, as you might guess, my family frequently reads my blog.

Here are two emails that my mother sent in response to my last post:


Email #1
(Doesn't get it yet)

Womens Camel Toe link doesn't work.

Email #2
(Get's the joke)

SHAME ON YOU BEN YANIS! You shouldn't even know to search out such things as camel toe. ShaME, SHAME, SHAme on you! Mother.

When advertising goes horribly wrong.  That will teach them to make wildcard Google ads...

Ok, since some of my friends were in town for the wedding, I was inspired to provide you all with these fine....

Dead Baby Humor

1. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
   With a blender!
2. How do you get them out again?
   With tortilla chips!!!
3. What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
   I don't have a BMW in my garage.
4. How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
   The dog plays with it more.
5. What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
   When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
6. What's funnier than a dead baby?
   A dead baby in a clown costume! 
7. How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
   Stick a javelin through it's head.
8. How many babies does it take to paint a house?
   Depends how hard you throw them.
9. How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave?
   Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.
10. What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
    One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
11. How do you make a dead baby float?
    Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.
12. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of golf balls?
    You can't move golf balls with a pitchfork.
13. What's worse than throwing a dead baby off of a cliff?
    Catching it.  At the bottom.  With a pitchfork.

I have just discovered something that is most remarkable...

Dog camoflauge!  It's the perfect solution for .... .... some situation that I have yet to encounter.  But it's amazing nonetheless!

Exhibit A, a covert Dobermann.

After one change request too many, I decided to put together this little comic strip.  I can't claim to have drawn it; I just did the captions.

Go ahead and guess which of the two characters represents me...